hate me? then PISS OFF.

i seem to be blogging ONLY about kayaking. everytime i come online to blog, i try to think of other topics. but the only topic i can think of is kayaking. haha. i don't know, its like this new love. im getting addicted to the gymming and running and pull ups everyday in the morning and during breaks. no i'm not insane, no it doesnt suck. you just feel proud of yourself after surviving all that crazy shit, 24/7. i mean, morning i do at least 50 pull ups, between breaks another 50, so thats 100 a day. sometimes we do 100 as part of our training, so its 200 a day. then the gay running. we don't go for a 4.8km run, we go for a 4.8km sprint. we don't go for 8km jogs, we go for 8km runs. its all mental. motivation, the pushing force behind you, the fuel. and right now, that motivation would be next year's nationals, and the OLYMPICS. i don't know my mind is screwing itself up cos of lack of sleep. but for some reason im aiming for the olympics. i feel confused. the crazy driven part of me says, yeah go for the olympics, the other skeptical or maybe practical side says dun be gay thats too far. i dun care lah, i want to get to the olympics. sometimes we all get beaten down by the boring shit that happens arnd us, we don't see the point and we get sian. we need inspirations like this to keep us going, and its coming on strong now. i feel inspired! i want to win. i want to run fast. i want to be stronger, strongest. i want to beat everyone. i want to be the best. its all about the want. how hungry you are. man i feel like a tiger or sth. right now i just feel so motivated to run or kayak. i guess its cos of hormones. high testosterone levels. haha.

WHAM. WAKE UP LAH PASS PROMOS THEN SAY. bloody hell. we're always tied down by all these gay shit. promos lah studies lah, a levels lah, getting a good job lah, marrying, having kids, living the normal life. isnt that the Singapore dream. study well get a good job settle down and live a normal life. BUEY SIAN MEHHHHH. where's the kick. to quote a famous person, Everyone dies, but not everyone lives.and i dun think the singaporean dream is about living. NO LIFE AH. look at those aunties or uncles walking around downstairs in t shirts and slippers. one day when you retire you gonna be just like them. you want meh? do something important man. i don't want all that fame or glory shit, i just want to do something significant to me in my life, something that i can take away with me when i die. haha. then think, wife how. nvm lah, live this kind of crazy life with me. if you don't mind.

i wanna be an Olympian. so i better work thrice as hard. four times as hard. five times.

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